iZen

Happy New Year 2009!
Yeah.. kinda late in wishing a happy new year.. well.. in fact is still christmas.. 12 days of christmas.. =) haha..

So what went on for the festive season for you? For me is pretty much a stressful time.. Had my Line check on christmas eve.. and during the "holiday season" till yesterday, i had my tests..
Though having those tests, can't say i din enjoy myself. =P Spend time with my gf. Celebrated her birthday, Hopefully i made it special enough for her. =) And the coincidental thingy was that her birthday was the same as my best friend.. haha... who knows.. maybe next time we'll get to celebrate it all together =)

Oh yah.. me cleared all my tests! Yeah!!!! Happy. =) heehee.. now back to my training... starting my second phase of training..really looking forward to the end of my training. crossing fingers and toes real tight. Its been 3 years since i started training... a real long time eh. Well.. at least now i can see some light nearing the end of tunnel, no longer like in the past was still in the dark. However said, life in company still pretty tense... attributed to the nature of job. Look glamorous, chill, however high pressure, cos can't afford to make mistakes. Well... i've chosen my path.. and will not regret it. =)

As for new year resolution..hmmm.. haven given much thots to it yet. how about you?

Anyway.. cheers! =) Happy new year and a merry christmas!

Its been 48days since my last entry. Yeah i know is a long time. In fact i tried updating my blog several times but with failed attempts. Cos everytime i write something down in here... i think i should not post it up.. for whatever reasons it maybe.. i forgot seriously.

Guess tonite.. since i'm unable to get to zzzz.. i decided to write something in here. Maybe is also a form of outlet for me to vent.

Its been a while since i dislike myself. Yeah.. sounds weird. Dislike as in in the past i procrastinate and overlook stuff and etc etc etc... Yeah... i dislike the "me" inside me today. Not too sure if i even understand myself at times. Today somehow i got overly emotional and my mind wandered pretty much a lot today. Is bad. Cos i have some negative feelings inside me. So much so that i dislike the "me". Well.. I know that i'll probably brush this off tomorrow morning when i wake up. But just wanna remind myself that i should not be doing what i did just now. It can be bad. I should have held back and not make things too complicated. However i made a Booboo just now. What can i say... my bad. Just that my mind wasn't really what my heart is telling me. Timing is just not right. Be it fate testing me or someone trying to be funny...guess i had a bad taste for it. Been a while since i cared that much i pressume. *just a side-note: I'm not grouchy nor unhappy when i'm writing this.. in fact i felt pretty at peace with myself.

Okay.. thats enough for my mumbling. If you dun understand what i'm writing here... is normal... is just random words joining up to remind myself the next time i look at it. In fact, i'm surprised at myself to be so at peace. haha... i thot i'll be sulking and be grouchy throughout =P NAH.. i prefer to stay happy and not sink too deeply into negative thoughts. Though once in a while is good to get a reality check. =P

Lets just share something else. I had my test date brought forward. Good and bad. Good cos can clear it earlier.. bad cos is something new. All i can say is i'll try my best and cross my fingers and toes. So far my progress is not too bad =) hopefully everything will fall in place nicely.

Things between me and my gf have been great! =) Shes a special gal. Shall skip those details for the past months if not will have to censor too much stuff haha and will be seeing xxxxxxxx all the time. I guess i'm really lucky. Counting my blessings. And to date.. it still feels like a dream coming true. All i can say is i'll cherish and cross my fingers. If is still a dream make it a life long one. If is real.. tell me. Let me know is real.

For my buddies and "sisters".. things going on pretty good for them as well. =) think Col is getting married soon, Yi not too sure. but soon i guess. YC well... still looking around. Hope he'll get one soon. JM have someone in mind, wish him luck. TF still in the states.. and guess his wife is looking him up this month. =) J and G are doing fine. HY hopefully to sort out her thoughts, WL to progress.

As for my best friend, recently her article and pic was featured in the newspapers.. =) Felt really happy for her. And feel her joy and happiness. And she was busy with her wedding stuff and housing stuff.. Knowing that her career and love life is so ..errmm.. good.. haha.. just felt happy for her. I do envy her. Can balance her life. I'm not sure if i can be like that. I know we have not been contacting each other as often as we want to. For whatever reasons there maybe, i still regard her as my best friend and my family regardless.

And well.. this dec month seems to be a good month for wedding.. theres several wedding invitations.. however i can't make it to all due work committments.. hmmm.. really hope to attend all, but can't. TRY TRY TRY... =)

Okay.. thats all folks. cheers.

I can't get to zzzzz.. so decided to make an entry in here. Just need an outlet i guess. In fact i'm feeling pretty sad and disappointed now. Maybe thats why i had things up my mind. And i'm not that good with thinking and sleeping at the same time. Somehow the zzz monsters dun like me thinking too much when they visit me. @_@

Its been some time since i last had such feelings of disappointment and sadness to say. Is just an bulit-up thing i guess, and just wanna pen this down somewhere. Basically i'm recently "wanted", and currently my gf is not in town... and i've not seen her for a week. Love can be a strange thing.. driving both ways.. i was happy.. then now i'm sad and disappointed. First and foremost is just today that i felt this way. Hopefully will not continue on tmr. I became rather sad when i din manage to contact my gf for the entire afternoon till almost night time.. and when i finally manage to get her... i so wanted to see her on VC, even for a sec. but nope. T_T have to wait till tmr. Cos shes tired and getting late. Logically i can understand perfectly. However, i dun think i'm that logical and rationale.. just being emotional NOW.. which explains why i feel sad and disappointed. Consolation is that i get to VC her in the morning laterz.. i hope...

The only thing that made me felt better was her photos and letters. Lucky! I felt much much better after reading her letters and broswing the pics. Its amazing that two months before i was still very much unaffected unemotional guy.. but two months later after her "popping" into my life i had such feelings. This made me realise one thing. I'll cherish.... There are some more other things that are just beyond my limited vocab.. but i'm sure you know what i'm trying to say here.

Its really amazing for me to be in such situation in fact. The stability and emotional committment made my relationship with her seem so "long". On a personal note.. is hard enough to get me into a relationship and not to mention even harder for me to reach such a level of committment. Hmmm... anyway.. shall just stop my whining and crapping here.

Nitez everyone.. i shall just find my zzz monsters to play with. Meanwhile counting down to sunday.... the day that i can see her again.=)

As usual... i'm late in updating my blog.. heehee.. =P But is better late than never rite ?

Anyway.. the wed flight that i was talking about previously after my MC. It was to Japan. Its one of most eye-opening flights for me. As i realised there are so many things that i still need to learn! Nevertheless, the skipper was very nice. I was really lucky to have gotten him. In fact i felt very bad. Bad as in i did not live up to his expectation of me. I've told myself that i'll do better!

My next flight out will be tmr to NZ. Have tons of materials to prepare.. hopefully i can digest them inside my brain.. hee

Today will need to accompany Wen cos when i leave for NZ tmr, i will not be able to accompany her for the next 10 over days... =( cos when i come back, she'll be in japan for holiday with her family, and when she come back from her holiday, i've another flight to japan... the timing is just so bad.... going to miss her... T_T

okay.. better stop before i start my nonsense about the emptiness =P cheers!

Or maybe someone finally wants me.. haha =P really nice song. =) Guess i'm just been sentimental heehee
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I finally found someone
That knocks me off my feet
I finally found the one
That makes me feel complete
It started over coffe
We strated out as friends
It's funny how from simple things
The best things begin

This time is different
And it's all because of you
It's better than it's ever been
'Cause we can talk it though
My favouite line was
"Can I call you sometime"
It's all you had to say
To take my breath away

This is it, oh I finally found someone
Someone to share my life
I finally found the one
To be with every night
'Cause whatever I do
It's just got to be you
My life has just begun
I finally found someone

Did I keep you waiting? I didn't mind
I apologise, baby that's fine
I would wait forever just to know you were mine

You know I love your hair
Are you sure it looks right?
I love what you wear
Isn't it too tight?
You're exceptional
I can't wait for the rest of my life

This is it, oh I finally found someone
Someone to share my life
I finally found the one
To be with every night
'Cause whatever I do
It's just got to be you
My life has just begun
I finally found someone
And whatever I do
It's just got to be you
My life has just begun
I finally found someone

From the last entry that i've made.. its been exactly a month. During this month a lot of things happened. Its not exactly a life changing month, however this month made my life more complete, giving my life an additional meaning.

This may sound crazy to some people. And i used to be one of those who think likewise....but in this one month i've met someone really special. "Love at first sight" is probably just a statement in the past, however that someone special had brought a whole new meaning to the very same statement that i did not believe in. I use to think LUST rather than LOVE at first sight is more appropriate..=P Guess someone made me change my mind. heehee. Or is it the fireworks that sparked off everything?? =P i wonder? But one thing for sure.. i'm grateful to that fireworks! haha.. if not for the fireworks, the two of us probably just end up a walking stranger to each other's life. Timing, location, people, all perfectly falling nicely in place. In my last entry i mentioned about a dream... too good to be true. Yes.. i'm living it now. haha.. She just waltz into my life... so beautiful, so gracious. Bringing with her the music of life, and beauty of being loved. =)

Okay.. i think i shall stop before everything gets too mushy. =P For the past few times that i tried to blog, was unsucessful, cos i knew i'll be too "overwhelmed" to write anything normal. haha... though now still a bit =P but is definitely much much better. hee.

This month other than the fairytale-like relationship that i've gotten myself in, another was my career! =) This one month since my promotion was going great! My flights have been fruitful all these while...though i'm still a little scare at times.. but i'll rather attribute that to human nature to fear the unknown and learning the new things =P haha.. i'm a human afterall =)

Been an eye-opener for me. Been to Korea, Bali, South Africa Jo'burg...really looking forward to the all my futher destinations =)
Just one not so good news is that i fell sick when i came back from jo'burg. Currently on 2 days MC, had to cancel my tomorrow flight =( thats bad. Hopefully i'll be able to recover before my wed flight.

*crossing fingers and toes. Okay.. shall stop now. cheers! =)

Someone mentioned that my last entry as "last friday".. so must update update.. hee

For the past couple of days its been rainy rainy rainy... dun like "melting" in rain =P But i do like the rain when i'm nicely snugged in bed. just enjoying the cool cool air. Such a nice setting for zzzz.. heehee

Okay.. speaking of rain. On the fireworks day.. it rained too. But guess lady luck was with us. The drizzle stopped before the fireworks begin. No umbrella to block the fireworks, no fear when mounting those tripots and holding cams to capture those beautiful moments. =) LUCKY!

Sun i wasn't that lucky.. I left my house when the rain stop and soon enough.. the rain caught up again while i was nearing the golfing range, half "melted" by the time i ran to the driving range. Even after lesson i was drenched too... @_@ still remember we have to sit out to wait for the rain to be smaller before we left the coffeeshop.

Yesterday and today also rainy rainy. Hopefully later when i go for my golf lesson will stop raining.. can't really see the ball when the rain is so heavy...
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Okay.. thats all for the rainy entry. Now my progess entry..making it sound so errmm educational =P heehee...

I've received my first schedule =)
30 Aug Hong Kong (back Evening)
01 Sep Bangkok (back almost mid-night)

The rest of my schedule may still be subjected to change.. but it looks great so far. heehee.. really excited. Finally into the big league as the capts mentioned during the interview. =) One more step towards living my dream.

Recently i've been having late nights again.... not just cuz i'm on phone/internet/msn/sms/reading/computer games/anime/etc...ok.. these play a part too, just like yesterday..haha.. but usually i still sleep only at about 4am or so.. guess my mind have been running wild again. =P All those random thoughts... i wonder why? Is it the rainy that made me dreamy all these while? haha..

Things have been going pretty smoothly for me... at least thats what i think.. Hopefully is not just a passing dream. If is a dream.. make this real... if not, let it continue for as long as it goes..

Can it be also fear of losing? Everything seems to fall in place so nicely, perfectly, smoothly...hmmm...godsentgift..*Cross fingers and toes*

As compared to some of my friends whom i recently metup with. their situation are not exactly desirable. Everyone have their share of ups and downs. Hopefully they will soon see the sunshine after the rain. And we'll all be there together to see the new beginning.

OK.. thats about all for now.. i guess.. if have anymore then will update again =) cheers!

Many will say TGIF.. in case you dun know that means Thank God Is Friday. =P I din know that in the past.. hee
Yup yup.. those working finally get to see the weekend. =) As for me.. is still pretty much the same since i'm not "working" at the moment.

Is a long long journey... and yes. I had my interview on thursday. Finally after 2yrs 8mths I've gotten my official promotion. I gotten my first bar! And to make it a more beautiful day.. I collected my license today! Finally gotten it endorsed. =) And in celebration .. I had fireworks! Nah.. i dun have the money to buy fireworks.. but managed to see fireworks, which is part of the National Day celebrations. And for the first time ever, i step onto the floating platform. =)

The fireworks were fantastic! took a couple of videos till my phone went totally flat. @_@ but nevertheless, i capture them in my memories =)
After the fireworks went for drinks at HV. Also been sometime since i last spent the late hours inside coffeebean. Cos usually will be at tangos or some other places. Wanted to chill out at the nice nice 2am dessert, but it was packed. I guess will have to wait out till the next time. =)

Okay... time to log off for now..cheers! =)

I've finally gotten my aircraft training out of the way =) Yeah! waited for a month for it and cancelled twice.. and YES! Done! And i just submitted my license today.. heehee...

Over the past days... have done several stuff.
I went to the night safari. Its the first time that since it opened ages ago.. hee. No more mountain tortise...
Just last friday...I went for my mum's graduation dinner... Yes.. my mum's graduation.. she took some course and grad.. and she "booked" me weeks ago. haha.. and for the first time we took the Singapore flyer together =)
And to top-up on the happiness... I had my aircraft training on sat morning.. hee. Its just great! =)After that had lunch cum dinner with my best friend... shes leaving singapore on wed for work and holiday for 3 weeks. At night went celebrating my primary school friend's birthday, played some board games at settlers cafe.

As for yesterday.. went to my best friend's place to pass her a lugguge bag for her trip. At night went to this white rabbit place to celebrate Val's birthday. Glad she had a good time =)

And yup.. today went back collect my license form and submit it. and did all my claims... hope it comes in soon before i start eating grass... haha.. cheers! =)

So what have you done over the weekend?
As for me .. I went for my K-session on sat, and went for a picnic on sun =)
The K-session had a pretty good turn-out. Had 11 of us. We were given a super big room. Had shakers and all. It was actually a room for 20 over and theres only 11 of us, so it as pretty spacious. We had lots of fun =) standing up to sing, playing the shakers and all.. haha.. all the indivduals' mini concerts =P And this time round.. we remembered to take pics. hee.. will post them up soon.
As for sun..Is been such a long time since i last went on a picnic.. it was pretty fun. We prepared a lot of food just for the 5 of us.. haha. salad, sandwiches, chips, muffins, dessert, Chocky, drinks... couldn't finish. We played cards and frisbee as well.. next time probably should bring a kite along =P and i should bring my blades to blade as well. Once a while relax and go for a picnic enjoy the sun.

Oh.. and one good news. i'll be doing my aircraft training tmr =) haha finally. Cross fingers and hope for the best! =) Looking forward to it.. yeah!