Its been 48days since my last entry. Yeah i know is a long time. In fact i tried updating my blog several times but with failed attempts. Cos everytime i write something down in here... i think i should not post it up.. for whatever reasons it maybe.. i forgot seriously.
Guess tonite.. since i'm unable to get to zzzz.. i decided to write something in here. Maybe is also a form of outlet for me to vent.
Its been a while since i dislike myself. Yeah.. sounds weird. Dislike as in in the past i procrastinate and overlook stuff and etc etc etc... Yeah... i dislike the "me" inside me today. Not too sure if i even understand myself at times. Today somehow i got overly emotional and my mind wandered pretty much a lot today. Is bad. Cos i have some negative feelings inside me. So much so that i dislike the "me". Well.. I know that i'll probably brush this off tomorrow morning when i wake up. But just wanna remind myself that i should not be doing what i did just now. It can be bad. I should have held back and not make things too complicated. However i made a Booboo just now. What can i say... my bad. Just that my mind wasn't really what my heart is telling me. Timing is just not right. Be it fate testing me or someone trying to be funny...guess i had a bad taste for it. Been a while since i cared that much i pressume. *just a side-note: I'm not grouchy nor unhappy when i'm writing this.. in fact i felt pretty at peace with myself.
Okay.. thats enough for my mumbling. If you dun understand what i'm writing here... is normal... is just random words joining up to remind myself the next time i look at it. In fact, i'm surprised at myself to be so at peace. haha... i thot i'll be sulking and be grouchy throughout =P NAH.. i prefer to stay happy and not sink too deeply into negative thoughts. Though once in a while is good to get a reality check. =P
Lets just share something else. I had my test date brought forward. Good and bad. Good cos can clear it earlier.. bad cos is something new. All i can say is i'll try my best and cross my fingers and toes. So far my progress is not too bad =) hopefully everything will fall in place nicely.
Things between me and my gf have been great! =) Shes a special gal. Shall skip those details for the past months if not will have to censor too much stuff haha and will be seeing xxxxxxxx all the time. I guess i'm really lucky. Counting my blessings. And to date.. it still feels like a dream coming true. All i can say is i'll cherish and cross my fingers. If is still a dream make it a life long one. If is real.. tell me. Let me know is real.
For my buddies and "sisters".. things going on pretty good for them as well. =) think Col is getting married soon, Yi not too sure. but soon i guess. YC well... still looking around. Hope he'll get one soon. JM have someone in mind, wish him luck. TF still in the states.. and guess his wife is looking him up this month. =) J and G are doing fine. HY hopefully to sort out her thoughts, WL to progress.
As for my best friend, recently her article and pic was featured in the newspapers.. =) Felt really happy for her. And feel her joy and happiness. And she was busy with her wedding stuff and housing stuff.. Knowing that her career and love life is so ..errmm.. good.. haha.. just felt happy for her. I do envy her. Can balance her life. I'm not sure if i can be like that. I know we have not been contacting each other as often as we want to. For whatever reasons there maybe, i still regard her as my best friend and my family regardless.
And well.. this dec month seems to be a good month for wedding.. theres several wedding invitations.. however i can't make it to all due work committments.. hmmm.. really hope to attend all, but can't. TRY TRY TRY... =)
Okay.. thats all folks. cheers.
